A prayer partner and I have been praying the Jabez prayer over our family since last September. The story of Jabez is short and sweet. The Bible says...

 After reading Bruce Wilkinson's book called "The Prayer of Jabez" and "Beyond Jabez", we decided to start praying the prayer for ourselves.  I chose to pray it for my family as well. 

The idea is that it be a prayer from the heart and for the right motives.  I pray it so that whatever flows to me from God can be redistributed to those around me.  I am not praying for my own gain.  And I do not consider it a magic bullet.  It is simply a way to channel God's goodness, to open my eyes to seeing the richness of resources around me, to seeing the need in the community around me.  For me, it is a way to do God's will more effectively in the world around me.

Since praying this prayer remarkable things have happened.  Lisa, suffering with debt, decided to pause her university education, along with her husband, and work on paying off all their debts.  Carl suffered health problems and we prayed for a good job with health benefits.  They each landed a job with health benefits.  Plus he has another job.  They discovered Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace University and listened to his CD set...which I found on-line and loaned to them.  She found You Need A Budget on-line to help with budgeting.  They tried the 2 month free trial (that offer is gone now...it just happened to be there when they needed it!).  They decided to get serious.  She approached me about the best frugal books to read.  I gave her a copy of "The Complete Tightwad Gazette" at Christmas.  She is actively chopping her expenses.  So far they have paid off all their considerable credit card debt.  They still have 2 lines of credit and 2 student loans to go.  But they are cautiously optimistic.  And...it's having a trickle down effect...

Meghan is in university thinking Mom and Dad are going to help...and that she will go through on student loans.  I sent her the Dave Ramsey CD set for both she and her fiance to listen to.  Lisa had a chat with her about the situation.  Methinks someone is a bit more realistic about things now.  I spoke with her about getting control of her grocery budget now she is eating with her fiance (he just went down there this spring).  She phoned the other day asking about substitutes in a recipe.  Shortest long distance call I've ever had!  One minute tops.  But she's learning!

Plus Paul has had another pay increase.  Somehow we are not spending it anymore.  It is going towards savings for renovating the house for sale/retirement (whichever we decide to do with it).

How does this help others?  There is a spill over effect.  As people see us gaining more control of our financial life, they are asking about it.  It is encouraging fiscal responsibility in others.  But more than that, the extra money that is freed up from our frugal ways and careful money management means we have more to give to the community at large.  Though I hate to give straight money, I have no hesitation with cleaning out my freezer (new food) to give to those in need...and have been able to do so this winter.  I feel free to give the Tim Horton's coffee to the disabled lady who is currently recuperating from a bad fall. 

I pray before every grocery shopping trip as well.  I shop where the spirit leads me.  This last week it was to a great Dollar Days sale at Sobey's!

Not only that, but our good money management and frugal ways mean I don't need to work outside the home.  What do I do with my days?  I volunteer different places and help individuals in need.  I give them the gift of my time.  I was able to clean for the lady who had a broken arm.  I am able to drive people places.  I have time to participate in knitting and quilting for charity.  I have time to partake in Bible studies and to support our minister in various ways by attending different church events.  I have time to pray for the church and community in general.  I have time to make our home a welcoming place for Paul at the end of a long day/week.

It also allows me to explore another avenue of resource distribution ... the Internet!  I am signed up to several local freebie/secondhand sale sites.  If I want something I request it and it usually arrives in great condition for a reasonable price.  If I am de-cluttering I can post on-line and be sure someone who wants the item gets it.  If it doesn't get sold or picked up on-line, then it goes to goodwill.  I am not a fan of garage sales.  They take too much time with too little reward in our part of the world. 

Full Circles is one of those sites where people recycle goods from person to person.  I was able to acquire several boxes of fabric for free there over the last year or so.  Because the fabric is free I have no hesitation in using it to sew quilts or other items for charity.  Or to give it to a local group making bags for an upcoming event.  I also acquire a lot of free yarn for knitting this way.  The yarn is given to the church crafting group to knit for charity.  And then there's the spices!  Yesterday I negotiated with a lady to pick up what I thought were 5 unopened jars of spices.  Imagine my surprise when Paul came home with 44 jars of unopened spices!  There were 5 different kinds.  Needless to say I will be sharing these with people.

So I am feeling blessed in all my 'territory'.  With time, talent and resources.  God has blessed us richly.  He has expanded our borders.  It is so much fun to be able to give and give and give.  There is a real joy in it.  I encourage you to open your eyes and look at what you have.  Look at the needs of people around you.  Think creatively of how you can fill them.  And pray the prayer of Jabez on a regular basis...being sure to thank God for all his goodness to you.

The one area of Wilkinson's little book I took issue with was in chapter 3, where he compares how we decide our 'assigned territory' and how God decides our "expanding territory".  I believe God ultimately decides our territory, but he created us the way we are for a reason.  And gave us all the abilities, experience, training, personality, etc. to do the job for him.  So those do have to be taken into consideration when deciding what territory to work in.  And some of us do have to make that decision initially...just to get our feet wet.

Some people don't have a problem with this area.  But if you've been blessed a whole bunch in your life, you tend to see opportunity everywhere (at least I do), and you have to pick someplace to start.  Otherwise you just get overwhelmed with it all and bogged down in the logistics of doing it all...even with God's help.  It's easy to just hibernate and not do anything.  Sometimes my mantra seems to be "better to do a half-assed job than no job at all".  There comes a time and a limit to what we can do, and we need to be cognizant that, while God gives us sufficient grace for the day, the reality is sometimes part of that is knowing our own limits.

My solution to the mess?  Pick one area to work on.  Practice it.  Get it right (ie. the way God wants it).  Move onto the next area.  And you bet I start with areas I am pretty sure of success first. 

But I don't let that stop me from responding to the promptings of the Holy Spirit to step outside my comfort zone.  That is what spiritual growth is all about.  Stepping outside your comfort zone to comfort others.  Sometimes I am dragged kicking and screaming into this zone.  At times I turn my back on the situation...and regret it later.  Other times I go willingly and regret it later.  But in the end I learn valuable lessons from the experience.  Whether I repeat again or not is another matter!  Sometimes it is wise to know when you can bring someone alongside who can help and do just as well, if not a better job.  Other times we just need to realize that God wants an imperfect job done...he wants you to do it.  I specialize in imperfect. 

Other times God pulls you into an area and you surprise yourself by actually being good at it, enjoying it, and seeing how to expand that particular ministry.  In my experience those areas usually involve your particular set of skills, abilities, passions, etc. 

So, other than that one area I totally agree with the little book "The Prayer of Jabez".

Update:

So I sat down and read the sequel book "Beyond Jabez" the last 24 hours.  It answered all my concerns about "The Prayer of Jabez".  I'm very glad Pastor Wilkinson wrote it.  Basically, he clarifies the issue about boundary setting, about using skills, talents and abilities (and personalities) for the Lord.  And it basically agrees with my above assessment, though he goes into much greater detail...which I appreciated greatly! 

I can't recommend these two books highly enough.  While my friend and I have been praying Jabez's prayer once a week, I am going to try adding it to my daily prayers for a month and keep a record of what happens in my prayer journal.  Anyone care to join me?  Only thing is, you really need to read Rev. Wilkinson's books before embarking on this journey, or you could be setting yourself up for disappointment.

I've had an interesting time spiritually this last while, and maybe it's time for a bit of an update. 

Well I had a good long chat with God today.  I didn't do a Bible study...just decided to spend some time conversing this morning with him.  Somehow I always feel better and energized when I do that.  Today I also said special prayers for my friend.  When I do so, I write notes on them.  It's good to see how God has worked in her life to open her up and grow her in grace and knowledge of the Lord. 

Our church has a Bible study every year.  It's quite small, but we learn a lot normally.  Last year it was only three women, and we struggled.  This year two of us want to do something else.  The other person definitely wants to do one particular topic I am not that interested in (been there, done that).  The minister suggested we have more than one Bible study.  A friend and I have talked it over and kind of have an idea of what we'd like to do.  We'd like to do a "Women of Faith" Bible study.  The only issue is our church is not known for separating men from women in Bible studies.  Still, I'm thinking my friend and I could meet outside the auspices of the church and do this.  There might be other people nearby interested in attending.

I've been reading "Amish Grace" and am totally amazed by the level and speed of forgiveness by the Amish following the shooting of five schoolgirls in the U.S.  While commendable, I only wish such forgiveness existed within the greater church itself.  We understand so little the impact of following God's call to forgiveness.  And yet it is crucial to Christian growth.  "Forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors". 

I'm looking forward to a slower fall in terms of church involvement.  Choir is not going to be every week, which makes me happy.  There is going to be a mixed music ministry.  I like sitting down in the pews, where I can raise my hands to praise the Lord and not get in anyone's way.  Yes, I've had comments about that in the choir loft!  My denomination is not known for arm raising in worship.  One reason I haven't joined the church formally...I feel they stiltify the worship experience for me.  But one can't have everything.  I love seeing God at work there.  And I love the prayer vigils they have.   Our church so needs them.  And I love the extra time with God in peace and quiet!  Uninterrupted!

I continue to be amazed at how God is working in my life - financially and otherwise.  We've had a lot of big expenses thrown at us this year.  Thankfully the inheritance has been there to catch it all.  Even yet, I'm amazed by how little we've had to use it.  Course, we're not done yet!  By the time the season is over, we'll have pulled $10,000 from it for home renovations.

Things have really calmed down at home with Meghan gone.  I thought I'd miss her more, but then, it's only been three days!  I'm too busy cleaning and baking and doing other things to miss her yet.  I suppose the worst time will be if she decides not to come home for Christmas this year.  We'll see.  I'll probably have the air miles to bring her home, but I'm not sure she will want to come.  I hear she has open invitations down east with family and friends.

God has graciously given me two new friends this year to help tide me over Meghan's leaving home.  That plus many other community activities keep me busy.  God is good all the time.  All the time God is good.

Talked to a friend on the phone today.  We were at book club last night.  Someone mentioned that they thought (well, they said the Bible said) that people got depressed because they thought the wrong things the wrong way.  And if people just didn't do that, they wouldn't get depressed.  Well...that's just a tad simplistic. 

Okay folks, there's depression as in a gradual change in attitude caused by wrong thinking like that.  And then there's mental illness, where you're dealing with serious chemical imbalances in the brain.  I told this woman I wouldn't be too hasty suggesting to someone who was suicidal that it was all because she sinned by thinking the wrong things.  Her comment?  Well it took them awhile to get that way.

I didn't answer her because she wasn't listening.  But the truth is, sometimes it doesn't take a long time to get suicidal.  Sometimes its a side effect of medication.  Sometimes it is very sudden.  Some people who are bi-polar know they can switch off and on like a light switch.   I know for myself, I would be doing something perfectly normal, and then all of a sudden have an urge to go for the knives. I forced myself to pray and run to the other end of the house from the kitchen, hunker down in a chair wrapped up in a quilt and pray some more..  It came on suddenly and without warning.  And it terrified me.  Entangling myself in the quilt made it more difficult for me to get out and do anything to myself.  It would pass as suddenly as it came, but it would leave me shaken.  Many times Paul would come home and find nothing done for supper...I just didn't trust myself in the kitchen for awhile after those episodes.

And just what is depression?  Some people recognize it, but if you've been depressed all your life, it's going to be difficult to recognize and admit it.  Especially if you grew up in a family culture of depressive individuals, or one that supported depressive thinking.

I really felt this woman was incredibly naive and judgmental on the subject.  What bothered me most is that she is a leader in the community.  I'm surprised the Mental Health people haven't got a hold of her and had a little talk...or even someone in the medical profession.  As a person sharing a book club discussion on sin, I just had all I could do to keep my jaw from dropping.  I thought the antiquated idea that mental health patients just needed to 'shape up and they'd be fine' went out with my grandmother's generation! 

It takes all kinds.  I now know why Mom was so quiet about her illness.  She simply didn't want it to be a barrier between her and other people.  I think the next place we live, I'll keep a lower profile in that regards. 

My friend and I decided we needed to learn to forgive this woman and we needed to pray for her, and that's just what we did today.  I feel sorry for her, but I also recognize a need to protect myself from her.  Being able to talk things over with my friend was a great solace to me.

I've been watching the videos on this site and really enjoying them.  It's largely Christian apologetics.  Thanks Lee and Leslie!

Just to let everyone know, I have revamped the post made on July 21, 2008 about "Tithing vs. Giving".

There is a big debate on tithing vs. giving in the church.  In the New Testament  Paul emphasized Christians were eager to support the work of the church...as evidenced in Acts where they all pooled their resources and shared everything in common.  And in other parts of the New Testament where Paul thanks them for supporting the ministry. 

I think, for me, the issue of tithing is tied up with the issue of giving.  And I have inadvertantly stumbled onto a huge area of disagreement in the church by saying I plan to "tithe" my time, money and talents.  A more accurate way of getting across my intent is to say that I intend to give whatever I can to God.  Be that time, talent or money.  And, from my perspective, 10% is a good benchmark to start with. 

Why?  Because of Matthew 23:23-24 and 2 Cor. 9:6-15.  Jesus obviously tithed and believed tithing should happen.  He says so in Matthew 23:23 when he's reaming out the scribes and Pharisees. 

"Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites!  For you tithe mint, dill, and cummin, and have neglected the weighter matters of the law: justice and mercy and faith.  It is these you ought to have practiced without neglecting the others [my italics].  You blind guides!  You strain out a gnat but swallow a camel!"

"The law" includes tithing.  It says so in Matthew.  And it also says it shouldn't be neglected.  And then there's 2 Cor. 9:6-15...

"The point is this: the one who sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and the one who sows bountifully will also reap bountifully.  Each of you must give as you have made up your mind, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver.  And God is able to provide you with every blessing in abundance [ed. note: not just money!], so that by always having enough of everything, you may share abundantly in every good work.  As it is written, "He scatters abroad, he give to the poor; his righteousness endures forever."  He who supplies seed to the sower and bread for food will supply and multiply your seed for sowing and increase the harvest of your righteousness.  You will be enriched in every way for your great generosity, which will produce thanksgiving to God through us; for the rendering of this ministry not only supplies the needs of the saints but also overflows with many thanksgivings to God.  Through the testing of this ministry you glorify God by your obedience to the confession of the gospel of Christ and by the generosity of your sharing with them and with all others, while they long for you and pray for you because of the surpassing grace of God that he has given you.  Thanks be to God for his indescribable gift!"

 
I am called to give to further God's work on earth.  And I will do that to the best of my abilities.  Not because I have to, but because I want to. 

Why?  Because I've felt God's love for me, and I know I have no way or hope of ever paying it back.  BUT, as with all people you love who give you a gift, you want to give them your best, or a gift, and you want to do things that please them.  And my gift to God is my time, talents, and money used in an effort to bring more people to Him.  I will serve Him with my time, talents and money.  Call it a tithe, call it giving.  It all amounts to the same thing...my time, my talents, my money...used for the Lord.

I do take issue with some comments made that giving or tithing to the Lord's work does not result in blessings.  Often people do not see the blessings around them.  Or the opportunities that present themselves.   They live with a spirit of poverty.  We need to learn to see with God's eyes.  There will always be poor among us, but some people make it worse than it really is.  This is not to say the poor have no excuse to be poor.  I am talking about the poor in spirit.  Not the materially poor.  God deals with spiritual matters, and attending to those first can lead us to the blessings he has in mind.  Will it be more money?  It may, it may not. 

We need to be cognizant of our role in the cosmos.  It's not all about sitting on our duff and letting God do all the work!  Saying "I pray, I tithe, I read my bible.  Now God bless me."  People need to be willing to educate themselves in how to be careful stewards of what they have so they create enough excess to give.  And if they feel called to sacrifice something in order to give, then go ahead.  People have to do what they feel called to do.

What I have found is the more I give of my time, talents or money, the more I am aware of the giving around me.  The more I help people, the more they are willing to help me.  The more I give, the more aware I become of those in need.  Helping someone up when they're down works, because usually (not always) they will help you when you're down.  Yes, there are some who take advantage of you, and then you have to cut them off to prevent becoming an enabler.  But sometimes we make our own problems by not expressing our expectations in a situation, instead expecting people to read our minds.  If you have a problem and need help, you do have to let someone know you have a problem before you'll get help. 

I am a housewife and mother who is stumbling around trying to find her way through life.  If my journey takes me places where I inevitably need correction.  So be it.  But the focus of this blog is my journey.  I am continually growing and learning, as we all are.  I will continue to read about tithing, giving and serving the Lord with my time, talents and money for the rest of my life, and try to do them.


Update:

For a clearer view of tithing and giving that I have enjoyed reading recently, check out Randy Alcorn's "Money, Possessions and Eternity".